Writers: Ron Marz, Peter DavidPublisher: DC Comics/Marvel Comics
Collects: DC vs. Marvel #1-4; Dr. Strangefate #1
Come with me on a journey back 15 years, to a time when Superman had a mullet, Spider-Man was a clone, and every other word had the letter X awkwardly forced into it.
It is a time where mainstream superhero stories have fallen somewhat by the wayside. The art was difficult to look at, the characters zero-dimensional, and the plots reduced to mindless stunts. Seeking to regain their former glory, DC Comics and Marvel Comics put their heads together and came up with a solution.
They were going to pull off the biggest, most mindless stunt possible by having their characters fight each other until only one remained! One reader, that is.
The basic premise of this era-defining... I'm loathe to call it a story... punchfest? Anyway, two cosmically powerful "Brothers" who are the personification of each fictional universe (one Marvel, one DC) become aware of each other and for some reason want to annihilate one another. Knowing that they are evenly matched, they pit "champions" from each universe together in a series of convoluted tournaments. The universe with the most winners at the end doesn't get wiped from existence, or whatever.
Meanwhile, in amongst all this nonsense, an ordinary man named Axel Asher discovers that he is some kind of cosmic gatekeeper between the two universes, and only he can stop all this madness.
It is difficult to talk about bad comics without sounding like a pretentious, cynical, overreacting, hyperbolic fanboy, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut... This is very bad.
The art is typical for the time: Appalling costume design (Thor and Superboy especially), inexplicable body shapes and poses, jarring layouts, etc. Garcia-Lopez's art for the Dr. Strangefate issue is noticeably more mature, but still a little haphazard in its sense of movement and timing.
What little dialogue triumphs there are in here (none spring to mind right now, but they are in there) are overshadowed by the sheer amount of clunkers. I know in a crossover story there's gonna be heavy exposition, but some of it in here is just downright unnecessary and confusing.
The only original character, Axel (or "Access"... Ugh) is completely uninteresting and has the usual copied-and-pasted origin story of the time ("I always knew I was destined for something important"... Ugh). Everyone else seems completely unrecognisable, but probably true to the more "X-treme" era. (I mean, does Superman just kill the Hulk? ...Ugh.)
There isn't even any refuge in the "it's for kids" excuse, as the fight scenes -- the whole reason that this story exists -- are over ridiculously quickly and lack anything awesome or air-punch-worthy. Plus, when not horribly intercut with each other, they are separated by long, boring moments like Robin and Jubilee's out-of-the-blue love story or the sub-plot about Peter Parker (or Ben Reilly or whatever) working at the Daily Planet. That thing felt like a French arthouse film. I mean, I know stuff happened, but I couldn't tell you what.
The whole thing reeks of "can do better" especially when one considers the talent involved. And the idea of the Amalgam Universe (a merging of DC and Marvel characters) at the end is a particular favourite of mine, despite its unrealised potential. Can you imagine today's creators working on it?
It is important to remember the time that this story was written in. Not only that, but whenever two companies intermingle, there's bound to be walking neck-ties telling actually talented people what to do. So, unlike every other person on the Internet, I'm not trying to cast blame on anyone. And I'm sure someone loves this thing, it's just not me.
Rating: 1/5
If, like me, you're enamoured by the Amalgam Universe, you might wanna check out this blog, maintained by a very talented fellow who keeps the spirit of this great idea alive. My favourite so far is "The Masticator", a mash-up of the Punisher and Matter-Eater Lad.
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